My morning routine? Happy to share it.

After waking from a long night’s sleep, I start the day by drinking a cup of coffee. Once done, I open a small walnut box in the drawer below the coffee maker. Inside, nestled in a groove covered in velvet lining, is a slightly discolored copper whistle. I take the whistle and blow it three times, in a staccato.

Sounds of footsteps immediately reverberate throughout the house. Almost instantaneously, my wife stands two feet in front of me as the remainder of my family rush to her side. They arrange themselves in order of height from her left, an arm’s length separating each. In unison, they proudly exclaim “FATHER KNOWS BEST!” I allow a tense moment of silence, then nod my approval.